January 2023 – Wounded Butterflies

When someone you love dies, it feels like the world keeps running right by you. In the beginning, friends and family will say they are sorry for your loss or some other words that they try to comfort you with. Others will not know what to say and not say anything.

Everyone tries to help in their own way. But in reality, nothing they say can help, nothing can take the pain away. There is a feeling of wanting to cry out, “How dare you keep going as if nothing is different!”

Everything is different. The world is a darker place because they are gone. Sometimes, there is a feeling of people just wanting you to “get over it” and move on.

What if we cannot “get over it” and go back to work or doing whatever it is we typically do? Our entire life is different, and it feels like nobody notices, nobody slows down to acknowledge that an incredible life is now gone, and their laughter is no more.

There are feelings of wanting to shout into the air as people hustle and bustle by you, “Do you care?”

How dare others move forward as if nothing is different. Maybe nothing is different to them. Maybe you are alone in the hurt and not sure where to go or who will even listen. The pain is real, the desire for the world to just stop spinning and take notice of the loss is real.

I have learned that the world will not stop spinning, people will not stop hustling and bustling, work will not stop piling up. None of these things will occur. It is during these times that we must find a safe space, wherever that is to you, and we must pour our heart out to the only One who knows exactly how we feel. The only One who loved that person more than we did: Jesus.

We must allow Him to comfort us; we must. There is no other answer, there is no other path. I am not saying we will heal after ten minutes of prayer. Not at all. This wound may never heal, but with Jesus, we will learn how to function in our new world. One second at a time, then one minute at a time – Jesus is our Comforter (2 Corinthians 1:3-7).

We cannot move forward without Him. This wound is too deep for us to just absorb. Find your private time to talk to Jesus, do it for your loved one that is no longer there to tell you to do it. Cry, yell or sit still with Jesus whenever you need the world to stop spinning. Jesus never tires of hearing from you, and you can have the same conversation with Him 100 times, and He will hold you 100 times and listen to every word you say because He loves the sound of your voice.

In 1 Corinthians 7, there is an entire section on marriage and how God intended His design of marriage to work. I want to consider specifically verse 4, “The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.”

I acknowledge this verse is talking about sexual relations between a man and a woman in the holy bonds of marriage. However, I want to offer an additional perspective on this authority. When I got married, I said these verses to my husband, and we live them out daily. Recently, we each have been under various spiritual attacks of all kinds. Some of these attacks have been rather brutal. Some of these attacks have resulted in dark thinking and deep spiritual struggles.

I found that when my husband is under attack, I pray more for him than my usual, daily prayers. For example, I will set hourly reminders to pray for him to be cleansed. I am not sure if you have ever seen your spouse in a dark place when enduring a spiritual attack, it can be scary. Which is exactly what the enemy wants you to focus on, fear instead of Jesus.

Every believer has the armor of God (Ephesians 6), but there are times during an attack when we are too weak to pick up the sword of the Spirit or the shield of faith. We need someone else to help us fight and draw on the strength of the Holy Spirit we have inside of us.

Recently, when my husband was under severe spiritual attacks, of course I prayed for him. But this verse began to take on new meaning for me during that time. When my husband said 1 Corinthians 7:4 to me, he gave me authority over his body. Why can’t that apply to wielding my God-given authority to protect his body, too?

With this new perspective, I began to use the name of Jesus commanding anything that was not of Jesus or from Jesus to leave my husband’s heart, mind, body and environment immediately. I commanded it never to return, and I forbid it in the name of Jesus to send any other enemy agents in its place.

I picked up the sword of the Spirit, (Word of God), and the shield of faith and used the armor of God to protect my husband, too. As married people, we need to see an attack on our spouse as a direct attack on us, our family, and our vows before God.

When one is under attack, there is a de-motivation to fight or a feeling of weakness that usually comes with the attack. It is in those moments when our spouses cannot fight to protect themselves, that we wield the authority given to us by this verse above, empowered by the precious blood of Jesus to defend our loved ones. How dare they attack a child of God and especially one that has a spouse who is unafraid of spiritual warfare.

The battle has been won! Jesus is our Savior and our Victor, through His name, we have power. Through the Holy Spirit living in us, we have authority. All we need to do to protect our loved one and fight is invoke the authority that we already have been given from our Lord Jesus.

Let’s pray.

Father in Heaven,

We know that attacks are part of being a Christian. There are many verses in the Bible teaching us how to fight against the enemy and how to know the strategies of the enemy. One of the most beautiful human relationships is that of a husband and bride. Marriage is God’s design and when our vows are being lived out in a manner that bring glory to You, God, attacks are a guarantee. Give us strength and wisdom and remind us of our authority in You to fight to protect those we love. To fend off the attacks of the enemy. In the name of Jesus, we stand against the enemy, he will have no part in our families’ lives.

In the precious name of Jesus we pray,

Amen