Hospice is a term that means a person has reached a point in their health journey when the medical world focuses on making the patient comfortable versus trying to heal the person’s body. The goal of hospice is to manage the person’s pain and to make their end of life period as dignified as possible. I worked in hospice for years, and learned some things about death and life in that environment.
From a practical perspective, the patient’s toes and fingers may start to turn blue or gray as they near the end of their life. They may also see loved ones who have died and start talking to them or about them. This is the beginning of their transition from the earthly realm to the spiritual realm. This can be upsetting to some families as they hear the names of deceased loves ones being called out, just know that the patient is not hallucinating. Families should not tell the patient they do not see the person that has already passed away. No one can possibly know what the dying person sees and does not see. This transition between the earth and eternity has occurred at almost every single death I have witnessed. It is as if the patient’s loved ones who have passed away are coming to comfort the one leaving earth behind.
There may come a time during the patient’s end of life journey when their breathing becomes labored or delayed, feeling very spaced out between breaths. Some medical folks call this the ‘death rattle’. Once a patient enters this labored breathing phase, there is not too much time left. If you have not already said everything that you want to say to the patient, time grows short.
One of the most difficult things for someone to say to a loved one who is departing this life is the following, “It is ok to let go, I will be ok.” These words are incredibly painful to say to someone that you actually do not want to let go. But, out of deep love for them and to give them peace as they transition to eternity, try to tell them it is ok to let go and that you or whomever they are concerned about are going to be ok. I have had to say those words to someone that I love deeply. It felt like my heart was being ripped out. But I knew she was fighting to stay because she was worried about me and that I would not be ok without her. I knew there was no path to recovery and I knew that she was in terrible pain. Within 15 minutes of me telling her it was ok to let go and I would be fine and that I loved her and would see her again one day, she drew her last breath. I held her hand as she slipped into eternity and I prayed out loud for Jesus to come take her home.
While death is a very difficult topic, the opportunity to choose where you will spend eternity is now, during life. For my loved one, she knew Jesus as her Lord, so it was easy for me to tell her that I would see her again. It was easy for me to ask Jesus to come gather her into His arms and take her home because that is how believers transition from earthly life to eternity – Jesus holds us in His loving arms. But the choice must be made now, this is in Scriptures. John 5:24 says, “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.” And Romans 5:10, “For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.” Of course, a more familiar verse is John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Choose life. And help your loved one choose eternal life with Jesus if they have not already made the choice. When a loved one is dying, that is not the time to be embarrassed or ashamed – that is THE time to talk about Jesus.
Let’s pray. Lord, I lift up all of those who have loved ones that are in hospice. Please be with them and strengthen them for the season they are in. Please touch the situation with Your peace, light and love. Please bring those that do not know You to You. For we know that precious in Your sight is the death of Your saint as You bring us home (Psalm 116:15). Thank You for the promise of eternity with You. In the precious name of Jesus we pray, amen.
Wounded Butterflies 