Category: Miscellaneous

Hospice – What You Should Know

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Hospice is a term that means a person has reached a point in their health journey when the medical world focuses on making the patient comfortable versus trying to heal the person’s body. The goal of hospice is to manage the person’s pain and to make their end of life period as dignified as possible. I worked in hospice for years, and learned some things about death and life in that environment.

From a practical perspective, the patient’s toes and fingers may start to turn blue or gray as they near the end of their life. They may also see loved ones who have died and start talking to them or about them. This is the beginning of their transition from the earthly realm to the spiritual realm. This can be upsetting to some families as they hear the names of deceased loves ones being called out, just know that the patient is not hallucinating. Families should not tell the patient they do not see the person that has already passed away. No one can possibly know what the dying person sees and does not see. This transition between the earth and eternity has occurred at almost every single death I have witnessed. It is as if the patient’s loved ones who have passed away are coming to comfort the one leaving earth behind.

There may come a time during the patient’s end of life journey when their breathing becomes labored or delayed, feeling very spaced out between breaths. Some medical folks call this the ‘death rattle’. Once a patient enters this labored breathing phase, there is not too much time left. If you have not already said everything that you want to say to the patient, time grows short.

One of the most difficult things for someone to say to a loved one who is departing this life is the following, “It is ok to let go, I will be ok.” These words are incredibly painful to say to someone that you actually do not want to let go. But, out of deep love for them and to give them peace as they transition to eternity, try to tell them it is ok to let go and that you or whomever they are concerned about are going to be ok. I have had to say those words to someone that I love deeply. It felt like my heart was being ripped out. But I knew she was fighting to stay because she was worried about me and that I would not be ok without her. I knew there was no path to recovery and I knew that she was in terrible pain. Within 15 minutes of me telling her it was ok to let go and I would be fine and that I loved her and would see her again one day, she drew her last breath. I held her hand as she slipped into eternity and I prayed out loud for Jesus to come take her home.

While death is a very difficult topic, the opportunity to choose where you will spend eternity is now, during life. For my loved one, she knew Jesus as her Lord, so it was easy for me to tell her that I would see her again. It was easy for me to ask Jesus to come gather her into His arms and take her home because that is how believers transition from earthly life to eternity – Jesus holds us in His loving arms. But the choice must be made now, this is in Scriptures. John 5:24 says, “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.” And Romans 5:10, “For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.” Of course, a more familiar verse is John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Choose life. And help your loved one choose eternal life with Jesus if they have not already made the choice. When a loved one is dying, that is not the time to be embarrassed or ashamed – that is THE time to talk about Jesus.

Let’s pray. Lord, I lift up all of those who have loved ones that are in hospice. Please be with them and strengthen them for the season they are in. Please touch the situation with Your peace, light and love. Please bring those that do not know You to You. For we know that precious in Your sight is the death of Your saint as You bring us home (Psalm 116:15). Thank You for the promise of eternity with You. In the precious name of Jesus we pray, amen.

Caregiver Encouragement – 3

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Being a caregiver is an incredibly difficult situation to be in. Whether you are caring for an aging or injured loved one or someone that will always need some level of care, caregiving is an equalizer in humanity. It is an experience that can occur in your life at any age, at any time, to anyone. Caregivers are from every race, every nation, every level of education and every language spoken in the world.

I have learned as a caregiver, it is critical to not lose who you are. Do not forget that you have a life and a purpose. Being a caregiver is a role you have right now, it is not all that you will always be. You have an identity that is bigger than being a caregiver. 2 Timothy 1:9 says. “He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.” God created each of us for His purpose, being a caregiver is what you do, it is not who you are.

You are seen, God sees you. He sees every tear, He hears every sigh, He knows you and loves you exactly as you are. You matter. “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid;” Luke 12:7.

Let us pray. Father in heaven, thank You for the love You have for us. Help us to remember the purpose that You created us each for – to bring glory to Your name. Help us to know how to love You, worship You and glorify You as we provide care to loved ones. Fill all caregivers with patience, peace, love, joy and strength. In the precious name of Jesus we pray, amen.

Caregiver Encouragement – 2

On By JCIn Miscellaneous, Wounded Butterflies BlogLeave a comment

Being a caregiver is an incredibly difficult situation to be in. Whether you are caring for an aging or injured loved one or someone that will always need some level of care, caregiving is an equalizer in humanity. It is an experience that can occur in your life at any age, at any time, to anyone. Caregivers are from every race, every nation, every level of education and every language spoken in the world.

I have learned as a caregiver, you must take time for yourself. This is easy to say and many times we know that it is the right thing to do for everyone involved. The more we are able to refresh ourselves, the better we will be to take care of someone. Even if this means five minutes of rest while your loved one is taking a nap. Look for those opportunities to rest your mind and your body. Let the dishes stay dirty or the clothes stay dirty a few minutes longer or whatever other chore you can work on instead of just resting.

What about those situations when there is no path to take time for ourselves. Ask for help. This is a tough thing to do sometimes – what if something happens while I am gone. What if during the hour I go for a walk, there is a need that the temporary caregiver does not know how to fulfill. We tell ourselves that it is easier to not have someone come in for a bit to help. Sometimes when we return from our break, there is more stress than before we left because things were not done quite right or the way we would have done it. There will be times when we have to adjust our expectations of others or even let go of some things being done a certain way. It is critical for you to take a break. This does not make you a bad person, an unloving caregiver or any other guilt trip that the enemy may try to put on you. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Take those thoughts from the enemy captive, dismiss them, they are not of God.

Let us pray. Father in heaven, thank You for Your love and Your wisdom found in Scriptures. Help us to take every thought captive that is not of You or from You. Sometimes, we get so weary, it is hard to resist the enemy, please fill us with Your strength and wisdom. Bless the caregivers and those being cared for. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

Caregiver Encouragement – 1

On By JCIn Miscellaneous, Wounded Butterflies BlogLeave a comment

Being a caregiver is an incredibly difficult situation to be in. Whether you are caring for an aging person, an injured loved one or someone that will always need some level of care, caregiving is an equalizer in humanity. It is an experience that can occur in your life at any age, at any time, to anyone. Caregivers are from every race, every nation, every level of education and every economic circumstance in the world.

I have learned as a caregiver, there are times when you feel exhausted, under-appreciated, exasperated, drained, scared, hopeful, joyful, relieved, grieving, and every other emotion that exists. Being a caregiver is an emotional rollercoaster. Do not ride it alone.

Have someone to talk to. Caregivers need someone that they can openly express emotions to without fear of judgment or retribution. Find that someone if you do not already have such a person in your life. This can be a neighbor, a church member, an online friend, a therapist, in a forum, or with a chatbot. It is very helpful to join a community of others who are caregivers, whether online or in person. No matter what form this channel takes for you, have a way to express yourself freely that is outside of the person you are taking care of. And most importantly, talk to Jesus – daily and always.

Talking to Jesus is your lifeline. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says to pray continually. This can be focused prayer time or just talking to Him as you go about your day. However, wherever and whenever you communicate, He hears you.

Let us pray. Father in heaven, thank You for caregivers and the loved ones being cared for. We ask that You would provide strength, patience, faith, love, peace, joy, wisdom and hope to all caregivers. Bless those reading these words and fill them with comfort. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, amen.

“The Bible is Irrelevant”

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I work with people from many different backgrounds, to include religious belief systems. There is one person who is 32 years old and has said to me that “the Bible is irrelevant”. He has also said that the Bible was “written thousands of years ago, so of course it is irrelevant to today”.

While the Bible was written a very long time ago, humanity does not change. If you read the Bible, it is filled with sex, murder, greed, rape, liars, drunks, cheaters, hate, wars, famines and disease. Last time I watched the news, all of this was still going on. The Bible tells us how to treat each other and ourselves, with love and respect. Clearly, we do not follow this, if we all did, the news would have less tragedies and crimes to report about.

Maybe the Bible is irrelevant because we make it irrelevant, we ignore it or dismiss it. The irony is that every human being craves peace, calm, or love. The way to get these is in the Bible. It is all in there, the Bible is the roadmap to life. The very thing people dismiss or ignore is the exact answer they need.

The Bible promises that we will have trouble in life, how is that irrelevant? We are surrounded by trouble each day to varying degrees. The Bible tells us how to handle trouble when it comes our way. It tells us how to have a happy marriage, handle money, raise kids, take care of parents, be successful at a job, and so on. Who doesn’t want the answers to life….I guess those who think that the Bible is irrelevant.

Let’s pray. Father in heaven, thank You for the Bible. Thank You for telling us exactly what to do and not do so we can be filled with peace, love and joy. Thank You that You did not keep secret the way to live a life full of calm. We thank You and praise You. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, amen.

The Grudge

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I am about to share with you a true story, sad to say. I am hoping that if there is something between you and another, something unsaid or unforgiveness or just something unresolved, that this story will prompt you to take action.

My Grandma was 87 years old when she was called to heaven. She carried a grudge to her grave, but there is more to the story than just carrying a grudge. Her Dad died when she was a baby, so she did not have the blessing of knowing him. There was only one known photo of my Grandma’s Dad that survived the test of time. That photo was in the possession of my Grandma’s nephew.

For reasons that are not quite clear, Grandma’s nephew did not like Grandma. He seemed nice enough to me, but I was too young to understand much. As long as I can remember, my Grandma would talk about wanting a copy of the photo of her Dad and how her nephew would never allow a copy to be made for some reason.

Grandma had a whole collection of family photos on her wall to include her Mom and siblings. The photos included her own children and of course, grandchildren, like me. I used to love looking at those photos and at the faces staring back at me that were our ancestors. While most of them I had never met, they also had features that were very familiar as they looked like people in my life at the time.

Through the years, I tried to use the internet to find a photo of Grandma’s Dad. I used the census sites, ancestry sites and researched to no avail. After my Grandma passed away, I was the grandchild who was blessed to receive her wall of family photos. I created a book as I wanted to carefully preserve them, they each had her handwriting on the back: who the people were, the dates and locations. The photos meant a lot to me because they meant a lot to her.

Years later, I received an envelope from my Grandma’s nephew, he had encountered a series of tragedies in his life and decided to send me the photo of my Grandma’s Dad. I could not believe it, finally the quest was about to end!! I carefully removed the photo from his handwritten card. The photo looked familiar to me. I got out the book where I had carefully preserved the photos from my Grandma’s wall. One of the photos on Grandma’s wall was in fact her Dad. It was mislabeled as her Dad’s brother. All those long years, she had the photo of her Dad right there on her wall.

I am not sure how the photo was labeled incorrectly or who confused the information. But the grudge that was held for decades and carried to her grave was for no reason. The very thing that Grandma lost sleep over and was so hurt over was right before her eyes. Her Dad had been there the entire time keeping a loving, watchful eye over her. Grudges only hurt the person holding it.

Let’s pray. Father in heaven, thank You so much for Your love and forgiveness. Thank You that we have the example of mercy and grace in Jesus. Please help us to forgive and not hold grudges. Please show us any grudges that we may be holding onto – known and unknown. Help us to let go and be freed as we free others. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, amen.

Trials

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As we enter this new year, there are some guarantees in life. There will be good times this year and there will be bad times this year. There will be happy memories created this year and memories that we may want to forget. During those times of hurt, pain, and trials, I have learned that God is still in control.

Our family went through an unexpected trial this past year that impacted every single person in our household. It was difficult and it lasted a while. We had to pray and believe that God would bring us through the trial and He did. As we were recovering from that trial, a new problem showed up. It was unexpected and demanded our family’s immediate attention. As we were weary from what we had just gone through, the only thing that moved us through the second trial was prayer and taking things minute by minute.

While it would have been easy to blame God for allowing us to go through one trial right after another. And some family members did feel that way. I prayed and heard that God is in control of when the trials come, how long they last and what they are. In other words, He did not allow both trials to occur at the same time, which would have been disastrous and lives would have been impacted and possibly lost. God allowed the family to have a period of recovery before entering the second trial. He is in control, even when we cannot see Him or feel Him or hear Him. He is in control.

The Bible tells us that we will face trials, not maybe or possibly, but that we will face trials. We should not be shocked or scared when trials show up. There is a saying that you are either in a trial, heading toward one or just coming out of one. That is life on earth, it is filled with trouble and trials. James 1:2 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds..”. How is there joy in trials? There isn’t joy in the trial itself. The joy is in the knowledge that God is in control. He loves you and has every detail covered, your role in the trial is to pray through what God wants you to learn from the trial.

Let’s pray. Father in heaven, thank You for Your love and for Your Word. Thank You that You have warned us there will be hurt and pain in this earthly life. Help us to keep our eyes on You, help us to trust You and bring all of our cares and concerns to You. Help us to hear You, feel You and see You as we go through trials. Protect us and guide us. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, amen.