Category: Wounded Butterflies Blog

My Scars and the Shame I Carry

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I have scars on each of my wrists, they have been there a long time. When strangers see them, I am sure they judge me. I am sure they have thoughts like, ‘how did they get there’ or ‘it looks like a failed suicide attempt’, and so on. When I see strangers looking at them, I am filled with shame. It is in those moments that I must remind myself that Jesus loves me, no matter what I did in the past or what was done to me – He loves me. Exactly as I am. Messed up past included.

As we celebrate Easter, I thought about the scars that Jesus bore on His body for all people. Every single human on this earth has the chance to be filled with eternal peace, joy and love simply by believing that Jesus died for us. “For God so loved the world that He sent His Son that whoever believes in the Son will have eternal life.” John 3:16 says it all, God loves us so much! All we have to do is believe. Just believe that God loves you, exactly as you are.

Credit: JC

The scars that Jesus has were created out of humanity’s shame and sin, not His. He never did anything to deserve those scars, yet Jesus chose to accept them. While His scars represent a horrible and painful death, they are also beautiful – they saved me and you.

When I look at my scars, I need to remember that not only am I perfectly and completely loved by Jesus, scars and all, but I also need to focus on how He sees my scars. Jesus sees someone who was once in terrible pain and struggling to live, but now has Him. Believing in Jesus does not make life perfect, it never will be perfect here on earth. But believing in Jesus makes life worth living; every day there is a peace and love that cannot be described, no matter what is going on around you. As we come upon Easter, consider the scars that Jesus bears for you. Yes, you. All so that you can know without a doubt that by His wounds, you are healed. Let those words sink in my friend, you are healed.

Happy Easter!

Partition in Our Minds

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In church and in Christian circles, there appears to be a partition being placed in our minds about prayer.  A partition, or wall, placed by the enemy that is a slow burn to turn us away from prayer, our direct connection to God.  Just over the past few months, I have encountered three different groups of people that identify themselves as Christians.  The first group was people who think they are unworthy to pray and/or God won’t listen to them.  They believe in God, but just not that He will listen to them when they pray.  When I say ‘I am praying for you’ to them, either they change the subject, or they appear uncomfortable and end the conversation. I found this to be a surprising reaction from someone who labels themselves as a Christian.  

There is a second group I have met that call themselves Christians, but prayer seems like a foreign concept or even shocking to them. When I share with them that I am praying for their sick child or a lost pet, they cannot fathom that I should bother God with such things.  They say, ‘After all, there are wars going on in the world, why does God care about a lost pet or one sick child?’ Yet, God does care, He cares deeply.  

Credit: JC

There is a third group of people that when I say ‘I am praying for you’, they immediately freak out and want to know what bad thing has happened that they need prayers. They expressed concern that I knew something they did not and asked me to tell them what horrible thing had occurred to cause me to pray for them. This reaction saddened me. We are to be praying for each other regularly.

If Satan can blind us to the importance of prayer through these or other ways, he disrupts our conversations with the Father and our advocate, Jesus. Prayer is how we grab a hold of the spiritual realm and connect to Jesus.

Prayer is like air, it is needed daily and constantly, prayer is not a nice-to-have.  When the enemy decreases your desire to pray or your desire to even receive the prayers of others, you have a problem.  When you have a problem, pray. When you try to pray and the enemy enters your prayer life to distract you by luring your mind to wander, you have to fight. Pray for the strength to fight. Use the enemy’s attempts to decrease prayers to instead increase them. Then we really will be praying without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

When Jesus is Asleep Part 1

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Matthew 8:23-27 says that Jesus “. . . got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, ‘Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!’ He replied, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, ‘What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!'”

When Jesus fell asleep in the boat and then was awakened by the screaming disciples, He seemed disappointed or maybe exasperated at the disciples for having such little faith.

What if the disciples did not wake Him, but instead clung to Him?  What if when they were scared, they quietly dropped to their knees at His feet or maybe just crawled up next to Him – just to be close to Him? 

Credit: JC

In times of trouble, maybe if we fall to our knees at His feet or just crawl into His arms to be held instead of allowing fear to grip us…whatever little faith we have will grow as we draw closer to Him during the storm. After all, Jesus is right there in the boat riding out the storms of life with us. Let Him hold you, hear Him telling you everything will be okay. Just be held in the loving arms of our Savior. Feel His love.

Keep Fighting

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There is a common phrase that people say, “Keep fighting”.  This phrase is applied to many situations and I am fairly certain you can think of one instance in your life that someone told you to keep fighting.  Sometimes to keep fighting is not the answer. Instead of fighting, consider the many Bible verses that say to “stand firm”.  There are over 30 verses that command us to “stand firm” between the Old and New Testament.  From Moses to Ezra to Job to David to Solomon to Isaiah to Jesus to Paul and more – we are told to “stand firm”. See below for just a few example verses. 

Credit: JC’s Gram

Exodus 14:13:  “Moses answered the people, ‘Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again’.” 

2 Chronicles 20:17: “You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.” 

Psalm 20:8: “They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.” 

Isaiah 7:9  “If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.”

Matthew 10:22: “You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” 

Luke 21:19 : “Stand firm, and you will win life.” 

1 Corinthians 15:58: “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you.” 

1 Corinthians 16:13: “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.”

Galatians 5:1: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of sin.”

So how do we stand firm?  2 Corinthians 1:21 says “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ.”  The answer is God.  God is how we stand firm. It is not in our own strength, but through our relationship with God that we are able to stand firm.  So don’t just keep fighting in every situation without praying through whether God would have you fight or stand firm. If you feel God is telling you to stand firm, then know and believe God’s promises. There is no need to fight. “The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you.” Deuteronomy 30:1.

Let’s pray. Father, please give us wisdom in our circumstances to know whether you would have us keep fighting or stand firm. Either way, please give us Your strength. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Jesus Chose a Failure

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In Luke 5:2-8, we see Jesus intentionally choose Peter’s boat. There were two boats in the water, so why did Jesus choose Peter’s? 

“He noticed two empty boats at the water’s edge, for the fishermen had left them and were washing their nets. Stepping into one of the boats, Jesus asked Simon, its owner, to push it out into the water. So He sat in the boat and taught the crowds from there. When He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, “Now go out where it is deeper, and let down your nets to catch some fish.” “Master,” Simon replied, “we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.” And this time their nets were so full of fish they began to tear! A shout for help brought their partners in the other boat, and soon both boats were filled with fish and on the verge of sinking. When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, please leave me—I’m such a sinful man.””

Credit: JC’s Gram

Peter failed at fishing that night and also failed Jesus by denying Him three times during their time together leading up to the cross. But Jesus knew all that and still chose Peter from the start. Peter goes on to save many people and start many churches as a failure.  Jesus restored Peter for the three times he denied Jesus.  Jesus knows we are failures and will use us anyway. He intentionally chose you and me, despite your failures and mine. Nobody is perfect, just remember Jesus loves you, exactly as you are, failures and all. He chose you, exactly as you are.    

Let’s pray.

Please use us even though we can be a mess and fail. Fill us with Your peace and help us to feel how incredibly deep Your love is for us, no matter how many times we fail. You love us and are right there waiting to love us each and every time we fail. Thank you Lord! In Jesus’ name, amen.

Close Your Eyes

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2 Corinthians 5:7 says “For we walk by faith, not by sight.”  There is a practical way to live this out – literally.  If we walk by faith and not by sight, maybe one way to apply this verse is to close your eyes.  When times arrive that you are struggling or you need guidance or you just need to feel God, close your eyes literally.  Then you cannot see, you can only focus on Jesus. With your eyes closed, use that time to pray, and fight to keep your focus on Jesus.  Do not let your mind wander and if it does, that is okay – just return your focus back to Jesus as soon as you realize you have wandered.  The goal is to turn off your human senses that are connected to the world: sight, hearing, taste, touch and smells to fully connect to Him.  Walk by faith my friend, not by sight.

Credit: JC’s Gram

Is It Possible We Are Looking for God in the Wrong Places?

On By JCIn Miscellaneous, Wounded Butterflies Blog1 Comment

I am in a season of waiting. I have been praying and occasionally fasting for something since 2008. It is a dream that God put on my heart quite some time ago. I still have faith that He will bring this dream to fruition. I have tested the dream to ensure it is Biblical, of His character and something that would advance the Kingdom of God.

We must objectively assess whether the thing we are pursuing is of us or of God and these are a few ways to complete that assessment. I did not ask for this dream, it just showed up one day deeply engrained into my spirit. When I think about it, I am filled with joy and see how God would be glorified. But it is not a reality.

I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed about it. There have been times where I have asked God to remove the dream if it was not to be fulfilled. It sometimes causes me pain to have a glimpse of what could be and then snap back into reality and recall how long it has been – the waiting, the hoping, the praying.

I tend to ask God to communicate to me in a very obvious way, a way I would not miss. If He is talking, I certainly do not want to miss it. And I can be oblivious at times. But I also wonder if I am looking for God in the wrong places. I tend to think that when He speaks, it will be like a thunder bolt or so obvious that I could never miss it. And sometimes He does communicate with us like that.

Yet, we see how God communicated with Elijah:

“The Lord said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?'”
1 Kings 19:11–13 NIV

I am looking for the big, obvious revelation. Whether it is a street sign telling me the next step in my journey or a stranger walking up to me and handing me a quote from God that says “Go do X. Love, God”. And yes, He does talk to us that way sometimes, but I tend to think He speaks to us gently, in whispers.

If every time He spoke, the Earth cracked open around us or a tornado blew through, I think we would all have an issue. Instead, what if He is talking to us in those whispers we hear, also described as a still, small voice? We need to be close to Him and lean in even closer when He speaks. We need to write down what we hear lest we forget. We need to ensure what we heard is Biblical, aligns with God’s character, and advances His Kingdom and His Glory. If so, then we need to do what we hear as soon as we can. This approach opens up an ongoing flow of communication, we grow closer to Him, and we learn more about how He communicates so it becomes easier to hear Him.

Let’s pray.

Father in heaven, we thank You that You speak to us through Your creation, Your Holy Spirit, Your Word and other believers. Help us to hear You better. Help us to look for You where You are and hear You in the whispers. Thank you for loving us and never giving up on us when we miss Your whispers. In Jesus’ name we pray.

Amen