Dementia and Faith: Rani’s Story

I am blessed to have access to global experts on brain health in my line of work. Through volunteering and personal experience, I have known, loved and worked with many people who had various types and stages of dementia. There is one lady who stands out, her name is Rani and this is her story.

When I met Rani, she was in her early 60’s and rarely had moments where she knew what was occurring around her. Dementia is different for everyone, but for Rani, the disease had stolen her ability to be present and live life in the moment which caused her family to pull back from her. They said they no longer could relate to her and she did not know who they were anyway.

As I spent time with Rani, I noticed she talked constantly in a low and calming voice, her face filled with peace and a smile. Her family said she was just babbling and none of it made sense. As I listened to Rani’s words and expressions, she was sharing what she was seeing and experiencing. It was as if she was living in another universe, but her body was on earth.

The brain is a beautiful and complex gift. Every human brain is wired differently which means we will all see and experience things differently. Even though I could not see what Rani was describing, it did not mean that she was not seeing and experiencing what she was describing.

I listened intently to Rani’s words, she was talking about the act of praying. I decided to ask her if she would like me to pray for her and if so, what was her prayer request. Rani turned to look at me with intent, her eyes were clear and bright, her smile so big and gentle. She said, ‘I pray everyday that I would be super-sensitive to the Holy Spirit. If you could pray that too.’

Rani then returned to her other world. I gently held her hand and prayed for her asking that God would make her super-sensitive to the Holy Spirit everyday. I am not sure if Rani heard me or knew what I was saying, but that prayer request was profound to me. Here was a lady with a family who no longer engaged with her, but Rani was right there. Their loved one was right there and sharing such wisdom – that each day may we be super-sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leadings. He is our Helper, Counselor, Comforter, Guide, Teacher and so many other things to us, (Romans 8).

I have not seen Rani since that prayer and I am not sure how she is doing. Her prayer request has stuck with me, I now pray that prayer every day – for her and for myself. I added a few words. Let’s pray. Father in heaven, please help us to be super-sensitive to the Holy Spirit as we go about our day and please provide the obedience to act on what He shows us.

Thank You for people like Rani, thank You for our loved ones. Help us to be patient, loving and understanding with those around us who may be experiencing what we cannot understand. Thank You so much for Your love and forgiveness. Thank You that we have the example of mercy and grace in Jesus. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, amen.

The Grudge

I am about to share with you a true story, sad to say. I am hoping that if there is something between you and another, something unsaid or unforgiveness or just something unresolved, that this story will prompt you to take action.

My Grandma was 87 years old when she was called to heaven. She carried a grudge to her grave, but there is more to the story than just carrying a grudge. Her Dad died when she was a baby, so she did not have the blessing of knowing him. There was only one known photo of my Grandma’s Dad that survived the test of time. That photo was in the possession of my Grandma’s nephew.

For reasons that are not quite clear, Grandma’s nephew did not like Grandma. He seemed nice enough to me, but I was too young to understand much. As long as I can remember, my Grandma would talk about wanting a copy of the photo of her Dad and how her nephew would never allow a copy to be made for some reason.

Grandma had a whole collection of family photos on her wall to include her Mom and siblings. The photos included her own children and of course, grandchildren, like me. I used to love looking at those photos and at the faces staring back at me that were our ancestors. While most of them I had never met, they also had features that were very familiar as they looked like people in my life at the time.

Through the years, I tried to use the internet to find a photo of Grandma’s Dad. I used the census sites, ancestry sites and researched to no avail. After my Grandma passed away, I was the grandchild who was blessed to receive her wall of family photos. I created a book as I wanted to carefully preserve them, they each had her handwriting on the back: who the people were, the dates and locations. The photos meant a lot to me because they meant a lot to her.

Years later, I received an envelope from my Grandma’s nephew, he had encountered a series of tragedies in his life and decided to send me the photo of my Grandma’s Dad. I could not believe it, finally the quest was about to end!! I carefully removed the photo from his handwritten card. The photo looked familiar to me. I got out the book where I had carefully preserved the photos from my Grandma’s wall. One of the photos on Grandma’s wall was in fact her Dad. It was mislabeled as her Dad’s brother. All those long years, she had the photo of her Dad right there on her wall.

I am not sure how the photo was labeled incorrectly or who confused the information. But the grudge that was held for decades and carried to her grave was for no reason. The very thing that Grandma lost sleep over and was so hurt over was right before her eyes. Her Dad had been there the entire time keeping a loving, watchful eye over her. Grudges only hurt the person holding it.

Let’s pray. Father in heaven, thank You so much for Your love and forgiveness. Thank You that we have the example of mercy and grace in Jesus. Please help us to forgive and not hold grudges. Please show us any grudges that we may be holding onto – known and unknown. Help us to let go and be freed as we free others. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, amen.

Ten Lessons For the New Year . . . From A Dirt Pile – Part 2

I had a pile of dirt dropped off in my yard and then had to spread it all around. When the pile of dirt arrived, it was much more than I expected. Nonetheless, I was grateful to have the dirt pile and started working on spreading it. Almost six hours later, I felt like I had barely shoveled any dirt, the pile remained huge. I felt overwhelmed as I went inside for the night as it was too dark to see the dirt pile. The next day, I went outside refreshed by my prayer time in the morning and ready to see what God wanted to teach me.

Lesson #5: There were times when I was tiring out, but when you are weary, stay focused on God. Isaiah 40:31 says, “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” So whether you have enough energy to soar like an eagle or enough energy to run or only enough energy left to walk – God will meet you where you are and give you strength to keep going.

Lesson #6: There were times when I lifted a heavy load of dirt wrong and caused pain in my muscles. Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!”. During those moments when I did not do something quite right or twisted the wrong way, God was right there to protect me. I had to focus on the blue sky, feel the breeze, be grateful for the dirt and be grateful that I could move and lift and garden. I am so grateful that God protects and loves us always, He is always right there – even in a daily task like shoveling dirt.

Lesson #7: Doing the right thing does not mean there will be no issues. The dirt was going to be disposed of. Instead, I requested that the dirt be dumped in my yard because the dirt came from the same land as mine and in my opinion needed to stay on the land; I thought that was the right thing to do. The lesson here is that just because you are doing the right thing does not mean there will be no issues or problems. In fact, many times when you are trying to do the right thing, there are more problems as the enemy tries to thwart your efforts to do the right thing.

Lesson #8: Pace yourself. Ecclesiastes 9:11 says. “The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle.”  Take your time and move at a pace that your body is comfortable with, take breaks and talk to God. Pray and listen to Him versus running yourself ragged. Hebrews 12:1 says, “And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Notice that this verse says ” with endurance”, not speed.

Lesson #9: If you can, find someone to accompany you in your task. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. 10 For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” If you can find someone to help you physically with your task or through praying, two are better than one.

Lesson #10: The most important lesson from the dirt pile is a personal one that may also apply to you as we enter a new year. I learned through the dirt pile that God is still talking. He is talking all the time, but sometimes the busyness of this world drowns Him out. As I shoveled dirt for hours, there was nothing to take my attention away from God. I removed myself from the noise of the world, got into nature and just had a conversation with God.

When was the last time you put the phone away, turned off the television, and went to be alone with God? Jesus did. Mark 1:35 says, “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” In this new year, may we spend more time in prayer than we ever have before, may we create time and space to just be with God, the lover of our souls. This new year, there will be hustle and bustle and there will be problems and hurt – that is life. Make a relationship with God your priority every day and you will be filled with a peace that surpasses human understanding.

Let’s pray using Solomon’s prayer of blessings. “Lord God, there is no God like you in heaven above or on earth below, who keeps the gracious covenant with your servants who walk before you with all their heart. You have fulfilled your promise by your power as it is today. Therefore, Lord God, listen to your servant’s prayer and petition, so that you may hear the cry and the prayer that your servant prays before you today. When your people return to you and praise your name, may you hear in heaven and forgive the sin of your people. When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin—and when they return to you with all their heart and all their soul and when they pray to you, may you hear in heaven, their prayer and petition and uphold their cause. May you forgive your people, and may you grant them compassion. May your eyes be open to your servant’s petition and to the petition of your people, listening whenever they call to you.” In Jesus name we pray, amen.

Ten Lessons For the New Year . . . From A Dirt Pile – Part 1

Gardening is a wonderful activity! There’s fresh air, exercise and the chance to enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. There are occasions when I underestimate the time commitment needed for gardening, such as how long it takes to plant multiple large trees. Or that two hundred flower bulbs take several hours to plant deep enough and then water. Recently, I had the opportunity to obtain some ‘good’ dirt. Gardners know that there is regular dirt and then there is ‘good’ dirt, which is the kind that makes plants grow better.

This pile of dirt was deposited into my yard and then had to be spread all around. When the pile of dirt was dropped off, it was much more than I expected. Nonetheless, I was grateful to have the dirt pile and started working on spreading it. Almost six hours later, I felt like I had barely shoveled any dirt, the pile remained huge. I felt overwhelmed as I went inside for the night as it was too dark to see the dirt pile.

Lesson #1: The next day, I returned to work on the dirt pile, convinced that I would finish it that day. After a few hours, I stepped back and focused on how much dirt was left to be moved. I started to feel overwhelmed again. I then heard the Holy Spirit say, “Do not focus on what is undone, focus on what has been done.” I went back to work feeling inspired.

Lesson #2: To spread the dirt, I had a shovel, a wheelbarrow and a pitchfork. The wheelbarrow always leans to the left and tips over a lot. I was getting frustrated each time it tipped over spilling dirt in a place that I did not want it. I then heard the Spirit say, “Use the tools you have in the way they work best.” This made me realize that things do not always work as they were made to work. Knowing the wheelbarrow was always going to tip left, I needed to change the way I was using it. I loaded it up heavier on the right and lined it up to dump out the dirt on the left so it would tip easier. This made me think about people. God made each of us with a certain way that we are inclined to work best. Instead of trying to get others to fit into the way I think they should work, I need to to see the way they work as a strength.

Lesson #3: There were times that my back hurt or I felt tired, in those moments I had to realize that it is okay to take a break. The dirt pile will still be there after I take a few minutes to just breathe and pray.

Lesson #4: I learned that working on the same side of the dirt pile did not provide a complete picture. It is good to walk around the situation and take inventory. Consider things from all sides and you may learn something about what you are working on that will make the task easier.

Let’s pray. Father, as we enter into a new year, we pray Solomon’s prayer of blessing. “Blessed be the Lord! Not one of all the good promises He made has failed. May the Lord our God be with us. May He not abandon us or leave us so that He causes us to be devoted to Him, to walk in all His ways, and to keep His commands. May all the peoples of the earth know that the Lord is God. There is no other! Be wholeheartedly devoted to the Lord our God to walk in His statutes and to keep His commands, as it is today.” In Jesus name we pray, amen.