self improvement – Wounded Butterflies

I am blessed to have access to global experts on brain health in my line of work. Through volunteering and personal experience, I have known, loved and worked with many people who had various types and stages of dementia. There is one lady who stands out, her name is Rani and this is her story.

When I met Rani, she was in her early 60’s and rarely had moments where she knew what was occurring around her. Dementia is different for everyone, but for Rani, the disease had stolen her ability to be present and live life in the moment which caused her family to pull back from her. They said they no longer could relate to her and she did not know who they were anyway.

As I spent time with Rani, I noticed she talked constantly in a low and calming voice, her face filled with peace and a smile. Her family said she was just babbling and none of it made sense. As I listened to Rani’s words and expressions, she was sharing what she was seeing and experiencing. It was as if she was living in another universe, but her body was on earth.

The brain is a beautiful and complex gift. Every human brain is wired differently which means we will all see and experience things differently. Even though I could not see what Rani was describing, it did not mean that she was not seeing and experiencing what she was describing.

I listened intently to Rani’s words, she was talking about the act of praying. I decided to ask her if she would like me to pray for her and if so, what was her prayer request. Rani turned to look at me with intent, her eyes were clear and bright, her smile so big and gentle. She said, ‘I pray everyday that I would be super-sensitive to the Holy Spirit. If you could pray that too.’

Rani then returned to her other world. I gently held her hand and prayed for her asking that God would make her super-sensitive to the Holy Spirit everyday. I am not sure if Rani heard me or knew what I was saying, but that prayer request was profound to me. Here was a lady with a family who no longer engaged with her, but Rani was right there. Their loved one was right there and sharing such wisdom – that each day may we be super-sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leadings. He is our Helper, Counselor, Comforter, Guide, Teacher and so many other things to us, (Romans 8).

I have not seen Rani since that prayer and I am not sure how she is doing. Her prayer request has stuck with me, I now pray that prayer every day – for her and for myself. I added a few words. Let’s pray. Father in heaven, please help us to be super-sensitive to the Holy Spirit as we go about our day and please provide the obedience to act on what He shows us.

Thank You for people like Rani, thank You for our loved ones. Help us to be patient, loving and understanding with those around us who may be experiencing what we cannot understand. Thank You so much for Your love and forgiveness. Thank You that we have the example of mercy and grace in Jesus. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, amen.

I am about to share with you a true story, sad to say. I am hoping that if there is something between you and another, something unsaid or unforgiveness or just something unresolved, that this story will prompt you to take action.

My Grandma was 87 years old when she was called to heaven. She carried a grudge to her grave, but there is more to the story than just carrying a grudge. Her Dad died when she was a baby, so she did not have the blessing of knowing him. There was only one known photo of my Grandma’s Dad that survived the test of time. That photo was in the possession of my Grandma’s nephew.

For reasons that are not quite clear, Grandma’s nephew did not like Grandma. He seemed nice enough to me, but I was too young to understand much. As long as I can remember, my Grandma would talk about wanting a copy of the photo of her Dad and how her nephew would never allow a copy to be made for some reason.

Grandma had a whole collection of family photos on her wall to include her Mom and siblings. The photos included her own children and of course, grandchildren, like me. I used to love looking at those photos and at the faces staring back at me that were our ancestors. While most of them I had never met, they also had features that were very familiar as they looked like people in my life at the time.

Through the years, I tried to use the internet to find a photo of Grandma’s Dad. I used the census sites, ancestry sites and researched to no avail. After my Grandma passed away, I was the grandchild who was blessed to receive her wall of family photos. I created a book as I wanted to carefully preserve them, they each had her handwriting on the back: who the people were, the dates and locations. The photos meant a lot to me because they meant a lot to her.

Years later, I received an envelope from my Grandma’s nephew, he had encountered a series of tragedies in his life and decided to send me the photo of my Grandma’s Dad. I could not believe it, finally the quest was about to end!! I carefully removed the photo from his handwritten card. The photo looked familiar to me. I got out the book where I had carefully preserved the photos from my Grandma’s wall. One of the photos on Grandma’s wall was in fact her Dad. It was mislabeled as her Dad’s brother. All those long years, she had the photo of her Dad right there on her wall.

I am not sure how the photo was labeled incorrectly or who confused the information. But the grudge that was held for decades and carried to her grave was for no reason. The very thing that Grandma lost sleep over and was so hurt over was right before her eyes. Her Dad had been there the entire time keeping a loving, watchful eye over her. Grudges only hurt the person holding it.

Let’s pray. Father in heaven, thank You so much for Your love and forgiveness. Thank You that we have the example of mercy and grace in Jesus. Please help us to forgive and not hold grudges. Please show us any grudges that we may be holding onto – known and unknown. Help us to let go and be freed as we free others. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, amen.