Nobody Knew, Yet Everybody Knew: An Abuse Survivor’s Story (Part 6)

On October 4, 2020October 18, 2020 By JCIn Miscellaneous, Wounded Butterflies Blog2 Comments

This is Part 6 of a series on surviving abuse.

[Read Part 1 | Read Part 2 | Read Part 3 | Read Part 4 | Read Part 5]

If you are being abused, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline on their site or by phone at 1−800−799−7233.

I had to learn forgiveness. I needed to forgive my abuser, the same one who abused my kids.

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.”
Matthew 6:14 NLT

It took time to forgive. I learned that praying for someone daily is a great start on the road to forgiving that person. I started to pray daily that is how I would behave towards my abuser.

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
Ephesians 4:32 NLT

Please take note that forgiving someone does not mean that you agree with or condone their behavior. Forgiveness is for you, not the one you are forgiving. When you harbor unforgiveness towards someone, you are giving that person control over you. You are better than that.

When I saw how hard it would be to forgive the abuser for what he did to my kids, I knew only the power of prayer, a strong support system, and spending more time with Jesus would enable the forgiveness to flow. There were days I absolutely did not want to pray for my abuser, but I did it anyway. After about a year, I finally let it all go. I let go of the hurt, the resentment, and whatever else I felt. It was very freeing to say to God, “He is yours, deal with him as you see fit.”

I know God does not condone abuse; we are created in His image. I also know He does not take kindly to people who abuse kids.

“And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.”
Mark 9:42 KJV

I now faithfully pray for my abuser multiple times a day, and I mean those prayers with all my heart. My prayer has been and continues to be, “Let today be the day that (spouse) walks closer to You than ever before.”

I realized recently that specific prayer is something I want, too. Each day, I want to be closer to Jesus than the day before. Therein lies the key – pray a prayer for your abuser that you would pray for yourself, too.

And the other key is that a relationship with Jesus is all that matters. There is nothing else in this entire world or lifetime that will be more important than a relationship with Jesus. If you know Jesus as your Lord, strengthen your relationship everyday. The closer you are to Him, the closer you are to having the wisdom, strength and discernment you need to live in a way that pleases God. Every day, I pray that God will help me to be Christlike to my abuser.

I am learning that being Christlike does not equate to weakness. My therapist says to be “aggressively Christlike.” I am very much still a work in progress in this arena. I treat my abuser as Christlike as possible because I have three kids watching me. They know Momma loves Jesus. I must set an example for them.

Throughout my divorce and the time leading up to it, my spouse did and said many things to try to hurt me or the kids. And as he ramped up his ugliness, I ramped up the Light.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.”
John 1:5 NLT

This verse came to life before my eyes. I was praying and fasting and studying the Word so much that my abuser could not stand to be in the same room with me for more than 90 seconds. The light makes the dark flee. This was a huge unexpected bonus for me.

Jesus is the only One that can help my abuser. It is freeing to let him go. Put that energy towards deepening your relationship with Jesus and showing the fruit of the Spirit to everyone around you.

As a single Mom, my identity has completely shifted. I have to look my kids in the face everyday knowing that they witnessed how I treated their earthly father: The words I said and did not say, the actions I responded to and did not respond to. I worked daily at being Christlike, and I continue to work daily at it.

The abuser is still in my life, although in a much more limited way. Due to prayers and the strength from God to be as Christlike as possible, I walked away knowing that I did everything I could to treat my abuser as a child of God, as a person made in the image of God.

You must stay strong in the Spirit, do it for Jesus, and do it for your kids. Do it for yourself.

I refused to stoop to his level and engage in mind games. Because of my relationship with Jesus, I had and have daily peace. Recently, I asked my abuser how I could pray for him. He asked for “peaceful sleep.”

While I am sorry he is having trouble sleeping, I sleep just fine.

[Read the Epilogue.]

Nobody Knew, Yet Everybody Knew: An Abuse Survivor’s Story (Part 5)

On September 27, 2020October 18, 2020 By JCIn Miscellaneous, Wounded Butterflies Blog3 Comments

This is Part 5 of a series on surviving abuse.

[Read Part 1 | Read Part 2 | Read Part 3 | Read Part 4]

If you are being abused, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline on their site or by phone at 1−800−799−7233.

I prayed for my abusive spouse for over a decade, but things became slowly worse until they imploded at the end. Not everyone will agree with my decision, and that is fine because I know I bathed my decision in prayer and fasting.

I believe that God blessed me with the children I have to protect them with my life, even if that means stepping between them and their earthly father. I finally left and took the kids with me.

Leaving took planning and a ton of prayer and so much help from my support system. I am grateful to God for His protection and provision. Now, as a single mom, I pray every day that He will show me how to lead these kids in a way that brings glory to His name. I pray for their relationships with their earthly father to one day be healed, as I focus them on their Heavenly Father.

For me, when I made the decision to leave, I needed to be ready to lose everything, and maybe even my kids. Our legal system is a mess and does not protect the ones needing protection. Hindsight is 20/20 – it would have made my life easier later to call the cops when my spouse did what he did. But, you know what, it would have made my life worse at that time had I called the cops when he did what he did. I chose not to call the police and yes, that made it more difficult from a legal perspective on the back end. But when you are afraid of what will be done to you and your kids, the police are not always the first call you make. When the abuser is in control of everything – bank accounts, cell phones, cars, etc – it is not that easy to “just leave.”

I have learned there is life after abuse:

Tell your story.
Find a way to help those still in abusive situations – donate time, money, a car, professional services, etc.
Pray.
Remember, God is love. He will be your Protector, your guide, and hold you when you’re alone or scared.
Focus on your relationship with Him; this needs to be your priority.
Don’t give up on love.
Don’t give up on trust.
Find someone who loves Jesus more than you (some of the advice I gave my kids came from learning things the hard way with their earthly father).
Find someone who does not care whether your bank accounts are “joint,” which may become a foul word to you.

In addition to being an abuser, my spouse was a narcissist with an incredible talent to hide who he really was to everyone not living with him. In next week’s installment, I discuss why I needed to forgive him.

[Read Part 6]

“We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.”
1 John 4:16 NLT

Nobody Knew, Yet Everybody Knew: An Abuse Survivor’s Story (Part 4: For Pastors)

On September 20, 2020January 24, 2021 By JCIn Miscellaneous, Wounded Butterflies Blog4 Comments

This is Part 4 of a series on surviving abuse.

[Read Part 1 | Read Part 2 | Read Part 3]

If you are being abused, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline on their site or by phone at 1−800−799−7233.

Several weeks after I left my abusive spouse and moved out with the kids, our pastor of fifteen years left me a voicemail. He said that he had just found out “there were problems between” my spouse and me. He offered us counseling again. [We had one session ten years ago, which I discussed in the Beloved Walks post “Spiritual Abuse” (December 2019).]

To be frank, I was floored that the Senior Pastor had no idea one of his own deacons had been going through a divorce for over a year. Between the out-of-touch pastor and my lying spouse, the ruse of a happy family was alive and well.

I prayed about how best to respond to the pastor. I replied via email and shared that I appreciated him reaching out and that the kids and I were now safe in a Christian home. I also shared with the pastor that I pray for him and will continue to do so.

Shortly after sending my email, I received a reply. The Senior Pastor reprimanded me for not including him in my decisions and further chastised me by saying that he believes God wants a pastor involved in such marital decisions. He further encouraged me to come tell him the issues.

A few things jumped to my mind:

I did come to you for counseling years ago. You told me to submit.
You assume I do not have pastoral counseling. You are wrong. I have two pastors, one a close friend (and his wife) and the other a licensed psychiatrist who is also an ordained pastor.
I have a personal relationship with my Lord Jesus. It is possible, and should in fact be, that people have their own close relationships with Jesus. I prayed and fasted for a very long time. On my knees, so many tears shed crying out to Jesus. I am obeying Him, and I walk closely with Him. I do not and should not “need” a pastor to tell me what God thinks. I should have a daily, deepening relationship with Jesus, so I know as I walk in the Holy Spirit what He is telling me.
The invitation to come tell you all the issues appears to be a desire to obtain gossip. The decision has been made, I am in His will, and gossiping about issues achieves nothing. I have an amazing Christian therapist, who has been walking with me for months. I tell him my issues.

In the end, I decided to delete the Senior Pastor’s email and not reply. My broader point in sharing all of this in today’s post, though, is that if you are a pastor, consider the following:

Stay involved with your deacons. Know them closely and ensure the best you can that they are and remain honorable (1 Timothy 3:1-12).
Do not just tell wives to submit. Ask the husband, “Do you pray with your wife daily? Do you read the Bible with your wife daily?” If the answer to either of these questions is, “No,” then stop – you have found the root of most marital problems.
If your long time parishioners do not engage you in their huge life decisions, perhaps ask them why instead of chastising them.
Please do not assume that one of your parishioners will not have a close enough walk with Jesus to make huge life decisions. We should be walking with Him, and we are commanded to grow in the knowledge and grace of the Lord (2 Peter 3:18).
It should be perfectly acceptable if another pastor is assisting your parishioners. Again, perhaps seek to understand why versus belittling.

As for me, I did not and do not believe it is my responsibility to inform my spouse’s friends or family members of our divorce unless I am faced with one of his lies, in which case I clarify with facts. I feel the same way about my spouse’s pastor, who I no longer consider my pastor.

I still have plenty more to share about surviving abuse, and this series will continue here next week. As I said in the initial post, this is a chance for me to share what I have learned and observed so far on my journey, but I’m certainly not here to say, “I figured it all out.” Thank you for reading.

[Read Part 5]

Heavenly Father,

We lift up the pastors of the world. Open their eyes and fill them with compassion, wisdom, and discernment. Help them to go beyond the “easy answers” and, instead, seek Your voice to enrich the spiritual journeys of their parishioners.

We also lift up all the survivors. May they realize Jesus is walking with them.

In the blessed name of Jesus we pray.

Amen

For Addicts and Those Who Love Us

On August 23, 2020September 9, 2020 By JCIn Miscellaneous, Wounded Butterflies BlogLeave a comment

In my younger days, I recall knowing addicts of various kinds and thinking to myself, “Why don’t they just stop?”

There are all kinds of addictions – drugs, food, sexual, and so on. Regardless of the addiction, there are things to learn. This post is written from the perspective of an addict.

The intent of this post is to provide insight, encouragement, and Biblical perspectives to addicts and those who love us.

There are many opinions about how someone becomes addicted to something. People debate if it is genetic, learned, or an illness.

I do not believe that people specifically say, “Today, I am going to work toward becoming an addict.” It happens slowly. We do not always see as the addiction takes over parts of our lives, controls us, and removes people from our lives.

I am now a Christian, and I believe the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. I also believe there is an enemy. As 1 Peter 5:8 says, “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour” (NLT).

I believe that the enemy has everything to do with addiction. To me, the enemy is the source of all evil, and addiction is evil.

As addicts, however, we cannot say, “Well, I am addicted because of the enemy, and there is nothing I can do.” That, in fact, is another lie from the enemy. John 10:10 says, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life” (NLT).

We must fight the enemy – see your addiction as the enemy. God has given us incredible weapons to fight the enemy, please see Ephesians 6:10-17.

We are living in the middle of an incredible battle called spiritual warfare. The great news is that if you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, that battle is already won. That does not mean we stop fighting against the addiction, though. Trust me, I understand how hard it is . . . when you are just trying to survive minute by minute.

There will be times when our loved ones see us clean for a time period and think the battle is won. What they do not understand is that the battle rages daily, hourly, and sometimes we are even back to fighting minute by minute.

Loved ones of addicts, please never stop praying for the addict to overcome, no matter how long they have been clean. Every setback, every hurt, even common, everyday items remind us of the lure of our addiction.

This does not mean that we do not love you more than our addiction. Because we have good days and bad days, it means we need your help. We need your prayers, we need professional help sometimes, and we desperately need you to love us and listen.

When we say we miss the addiction or that we are really struggling, it does not necessarily mean we are going to jump right back into the addiction – but it might mean that.

Please listen to what we are saying, ask us what is going on, what happened, what made us think about the addiction, what is causing the struggle. There are times that we will encounter things that trigger us.

Please do not yell at us or belittle us when we confide in you that we are struggling. That does not help. Instead, it drives us deeper towards the addiction.

And please, for the love of God, do not offer to assist us to obtain the addictive thing again to ease our pain.

As an addict, every day is a battle. There are days when I cannot pray against the addition, so I need my loved ones to do so for me. So I ask, on behalf of all addicts, never stop praying for us. Never.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV

If you or someone you know is battling an addiction – please seek help. Here are two resources:

Heavenly Father,

We lift up addicts of all kinds and those who love them. Please bring them to salvation or closer to You, and fill them with Your strength, Your peace, Your wisdom, and Your discernment. May You settle their souls and keep their thoughts safe from the enemy through the power of Your Word.

In the blessed name of Jesus we pray.

Amen

Why Things Seem to Go Well for “Bad” People

On August 16, 2020September 9, 2020 By JCIn Miscellaneous, Wounded Butterflies BlogLeave a comment

Our God is a patient God, He is slow to anger (“The LORD is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion. But he does not excuse the guilty.” –from Numbers 14:18 NLT).

I think there are at least two reasons why some people who are unbelievers and behave in hurtful ways appear to be succeeding in life. One is that God wants no one to perish:

“It is not my Heavenly Father’s will that even one of these little ones should perish.”
from Matthew 18:14 NLT

You and I are blessed enough to know Jesus, so our eyes are now open, and we understand much more about how the world works. However, at some point we were not saved, we did not know Jesus. God waited for us, He was patient with us.

God loves all people, no matter how mean, evil or bad they may be. He created them, and we know from the verse above that He wants all to come to know His Son and to be saved from an eternity without Him. No matter how people behave, they are made in His image and with that comes commands of how you and I are to treat them. We are not to abuse or defile them or ourselves, regardless of the circumstances or how they may treat us.

Sometimes, it appears that the “bad” people are doing well. They have great jobs, marriages, wonderful kids, material possessions, and so on and so on. God already knows whether they cry out to Him before their death. What if they do not come to know Him before they die? Earth is all they have, this is the most joy they will ever achieve, and then they will spend all eternity in flames with maggots (“Where the maggots never die and the fire never goes out.” —Mark 9:48 NLT).

This perspective makes me pity them, as this broken, sin-filled world is all there is for them. As believers, we know Earth is the closest to hell we will ever get because of Jesus’ sacrifice. We know we are just passing through here. The most amazing inheritance awaits us in heaven in the very presence of Jesus.

“We have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay.”
1 Peter 1:4 NLT

It is also possible that “bad” people appear to be thriving on Earth because when they do come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior, they will then have a platform. Whether that platform is a wide circle of friends, influence or assets to propel God’s Kingdom forward, what was once used to advance other agendas is now invested in the Kingdom.

We will all stand before God and have to give an account.

“Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God.”
Romans 14:12 NLT

It is best to refocus any energy you may be investing toward figuring out why “bad” people appear to thrive toward stewarding your own gifts and talents. What are you doing with Jesus, how are you advancing His Kingdom with the blessings He has given you?

This is sometimes hard to do when such people are impacting your life with their hurtful and bad choices, but leave vengeance to God (Romans 12:19), pray for them (Matthew 5:44), and walk by faith (2 Corinthians 5:7).

On this side of heaven, we will never truly know what is going on in these people’s lives, their motives, how God is working, and what the eternal outcomes will be. We should obey what we have been told to do:

“Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” —Romans 12:18 NLT
“Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” —Matthew 5:44 NLT
And my personal favorite, “Instead, ‘If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.'” —Romans 12:20 NLT

One final thought, if someone is making bad choices or being hurtful, it may be a cry deep in their soul that they don’t understand. If it is safe to do so, pray first, and then engage the person to learn more. People who have experienced trauma sometimes do not know how to process the pain and it manifests in hurtful ways to others.

Approaching someone and asking without judgment, “Would you tell me your story?” or “Can I share my story with you?” can lead to the hole in their soul being filled by the Almighty Creator as you share your story and the Truth. Our stories are woven into our souls, hearts and minds to be bridges to reach others with the Gospel.

Never be ashamed of who you are and where you have been. Your story may be the exact one that person needs to hear to have their eyes opened to Jesus and they will never thirst again.

“But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”
John 4:14 NLT

When You Forgive and God Punishes

On August 2, 2020September 9, 2020 By JCIn Miscellaneous, Wounded Butterflies Blog1 Comment

There have been times in my life when people have committed awful sins against my kids or me. The human side of me wanted to exact revenge and, believe me, I had plenty of opportunities to do so. I had to learn that is not my role; God makes that clear in His Word more than once.

In both the Old Testament and the New Testament, God commands us that revenge belongs to Him. These verses say to leave vengeance to the Lord, and that He will avenge in due time, in His time:

“Vengeance is Mine, and recompense; their foot shall slip in due time; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things to come hasten upon them.”
Deuteronomy 32:35 NKJV

“Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
Romans 12:17-19 NKJV

In the Romans excerpt, God calls us His beloved; He is not overlooking the injustices; He is telling us, “I love you so much that if you give Me the space and the time to avenge the injustices, I will take care of it. And by the way, I will take care of it way better than you ever could. Focus on forgiving and leave the rest to me.”

Forgiveness does not mean you are condoning or agreeing with the sin. Forgiveness is about you becoming healthier and releasing the peace and blessings of God into your life.

My father abandoned me as a child. I carried around that unforgiveness for decades. I finally forgave him by writing a letter to him and, frankly, not caring whether he read it. The forgiveness flowed because I allowed Jesus to work in my heart. I felt a huge burden lift that I did not even know I was carrying.

Sometimes, we will see the actions God takes against sin, and other times we will not. In Numbers 12, Moses is wronged by his siblings, he prays for his sister immediately, yet the Lord decides to exact a punishment despite Moses’ prayer.

“While they were at Hazeroth, Miriam and Aaron criticized Moses because he had married a Cushite woman. They said, ‘Has the LORD spoken only through Moses? Hasn’t he spoken through us, too?’ But the LORD heard them.

The LORD was very angry with them, and he departed. As the cloud moved from above the Tabernacle, there stood Miriam, her skin as white as snow from leprosy. When Aaron saw what had happened to her, he cried out to Moses, ‘Oh, my master! Please don’t punish us for this sin we have so foolishly committed.’

So Moses cried out to the LORD, ‘O God, I beg you, please heal her!’ But the LORD said to Moses, ‘If her father had done nothing more than spit in her face, wouldn’t she be defiled for seven days? So keep her outside the camp for seven days, and after that she may be accepted back.'”
Numbers 12:1-2,9-11,13-14 NLT

Allow the Lord to take vengeance as He sees fit – in His time and in His way. In the meantime, focus on forgiving and praying for the person, as Jesus commands in Matthew 5:44: “Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!”

Heavenly Father,

We lift up those who carry resentment and bitterness against others in their hearts. Help them to forgive, dear Lord, rather than being shackled to past pains. Remind them that You love them and will carry out perfect justice on their behalf. Fill them with blessings of health and peace.

In the blessed name of Jesus we pray.

Amen

23 Pieces of Advice from a Mom to Her Kids

On July 26, 2020January 24, 2021 By JCIn Miscellaneous, Wounded Butterflies Blog2 Comments

Always keep your eyes on Jesus, this life is temporary; He is your eternity. Look for Him every day, He is the Creator of all and is seen in the colors in the sky, the flowers, nature.
Get an education; nobody can ever take knowledge away from you.
Knowledge is a gift to be shared, not a weapon to be wielded.
Always listen to your internal instincts. God gives you these instincts to protect yourself and your family.
Never take anyone or anything for granted. Never.
Sometimes we invite pain into our lives by the decisions we make, and other times it just happens when we did nothing to invite it. Regardless, God allowed the pain into your life for a reason; place your energy into figuring out what He is looking to do in your life and how you can grow in Him instead of wallowing in self-pity.
“And we know that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into his plans. For from the very beginning God decided that those who came to him—and all along he knew who would—should become like his Son, so that his Son would be the First, with many brothers. And having chosen us, he called us to come to him; and when we came, he declared us ‘not guilty,’ filled us with Christ’s goodness, gave us right standing with himself, and promised us his glory. What can we ever say to such wonderful things as these? If God is on our side, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son for us but gave him up for us all, won’t he also surely give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? Will God? No! He is the one who has forgiven us and given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? Will Christ? No! For he is the one who died for us and came back to life again for us and is sitting at the place of highest honor next to God, pleading for us there in heaven. Who then can ever keep Christ’s love from us? When we have trouble or calamity, when we are hunted down or destroyed, is it because he doesn’t love us anymore? And if we are hungry or penniless or in danger or threatened with death, has God deserted us? No, for the Scriptures tell us that for his sake we must be ready to face death at every moment of the day—we are like sheep awaiting slaughter; but despite all this, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us enough to die for us. For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels won’t, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God’s love away. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, or where we are—high above the sky, or in the deepest ocean—nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when he died for us.” —Romans 8:28-39 TLB
Sometimes no answer to prayer is an answer. Never confuse silence with Him not hearing you.
When you sin, pray Psalm 51:1-17: “O loving and kind God, have mercy. Have pity upon me and take away the awful stain of my transgressions. Oh, wash me, cleanse me from this guilt. Let me be pure again. For I admit my shameful deed—it haunts me day and night. It is against you and you alone I sinned and did this terrible thing. You saw it all, and your sentence against me is just. But I was born a sinner, yes, from the moment my mother conceived me. You deserve honesty from the heart; yes, utter sincerity and truthfulness. Oh, give me this wisdom. Sprinkle me with the cleansing blood and I shall be clean again. Wash me and I shall be whiter than snow. And after you have punished me, give me back my joy again. Don’t keep looking at my sins—erase them from your sight. Create in me a new, clean heart, O God, filled with clean thoughts and right desires. Don’t toss me aside, banished forever from your presence. Don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Then I will teach your ways to other sinners, and they—guilty like me—will repent and return to you. Don’t sentence me to death. O my God, you alone can rescue me. Then I will sing of your forgiveness, for my lips will be unsealed—oh, how I will praise you. You don’t want penance; if you did, how gladly I would do it! You aren’t interested in offerings burned before you on the altar. It is a broken spirit you want—remorse and penitence. A broken and a contrite heart, O God, you will not ignore” (TLB).
God is not a God of confusion. If you are confused, that is not from Him. When you have clarity from God and others say you are confused, you are not confused – follow God. Always.
Never take on debt.
When life gives you trials, pray. When things get so hard you cannot breathe, repeat the name “Jesus.” There is tremendous power in the name of Jesus: “Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” —Philippians 2:9-11 NLT
When you are in a situation of conflict, read Genesis 50:20: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people” (NLT). Rise above the conflict.
Keep perspective. Your soul is safe for all eternity, the thing or person you are dealing with cannot touch your soul: “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” —Matthew 10:28 NLT
Know your cause in life. Your calling is to worship God. Your cause is what keeps you up at night, what gets you upset or motivated to see change – that is your cause. As you fulfill your cause, keep in mind your calling – praise Him as you fulfill your cause. When you hit difficulties, knowing your cause will enable you to rise above the conflict. Satan works very hard to keep you from your calling and your cause, do not help him.
Have a personal relationship with Jesus that is growing every day.
Marry someone who loves Jesus more than they love you.
Experience a marriage as designed by God, not as defined by this world.
Love God and love people.
Love deeply and forgive. Forgiveness does not mean you condone the behavior, it means releasing the control that person has over you that you have given them.
Teach your children the Truth.
Always tithe. Always. “‘Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me! But you ask, “What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?” You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,’ says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies, ‘I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!'” —Malachi 3:8-10 NLT
Read the Bible and pray everyday. Never miss a day.